Week 93: I Want the Mongoose

This Week's Contest is easy. Pictured above is the finest prizewe have ever obtained, an elegant piece of taxidermy featuring asnake being killed by a mongoose. This would lend instant "class" tothe den or living room of any domicile inhabited by morons, yokelsor blind people. It was purchased for $65 but is obviouslypriceless. All you have to do is tell us, in 50 words or fewer, whyyou must have it. Best answer gets it. Runners-up, as always, getthe coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Honorable mentionsget the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper stickers.Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mailyour entries to the Style Invitational, Week 93, The WashingtonPost, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, fax them to202-334-4312, or submit them via the Internet to this address:losers@access.digex.net. Entries must be received on or beforeTuesday, Jan. 3. Please include your address and phone number.Winners will be announced in three weeks. Editors reserve the rightto alter entries for taste, appropriateness or humor. No purchasenecessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediatefamilies are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 90, in which you were asked to inventlegislation using only the names of the 102 congressional freshmen.More than 9,000 entries this week, including dozens of fine onessubmitted by too many people to credit the authors. Among them: theFattah-Flanagan orphanage bill; the Watts-Hayworth farm subsidybill; the Ney-Burr-Lee community development act; the Burr-Bryantcollege football empowerment act; the Barr-Burr-Nethercutt bikiniwax amendment; the Smith-Jones motel registry act. There were somany entries, and so many duplicates, we fear we may haveinadvertently omitted the names of some people with entriesidentical to the winners below. If you feel we snubbed you, and wishrecognition, you may follow this simple procedure: Have youroriginal entry notarized along with an affidavit swearing to itsauthenticity. Submit this in triplicate to "I Deserve Credit," c/oThe New York Times Op-Ed Section, 229 W. 43rd St., New York, N.Y.10036. Thank you.

Sixth Runner-Up: The Frisa-Bunn RFK Stadium domeappropriations bill. (PDKL Letellier, Arlington)

Fifth Runner-Up: The Wamp-Bass weapons procurement act.(Nick Yokanovich, Arnold; Mollie Peek Roland, Falls Church)

Fourth Runner-Up: The Lee-Kyl-Kennedy anti-conspiracy bill.(Peyton Coyner, Afton, Va.; Bill and Judy Kelly, Gaithersburg; JanetMillenson, Potomac)

Third Runner-Up: The Bono-Snowe-English athlete literacy act.(Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills; John Holder, Washington)

Second Runner-Up: The Bentsen-Snowe-Kennedy delayed snappycomeback act. (Scott Jordan, Derwood)

First Runner-Up: The Watts-DeWine-Witt-Salmon sommeliereducation act. (Bill Purvis, Dave Finkbinder and Mike Duffy,Washington; Mark W. Johnson, Chevy Chase; Paul Bickart, Washington)

And the winner of the three items from Dave Barry's GiftGuide:

The Cubin-Bass-Tiahrt resolution condemning Fidel Castro.(Jerry Pohl, Rockville)

Honorable Mentions:

The Barr-Bunn-Ney-Mascara animal-testing prohibition act. (JoeWeissman, Washington)

The Hilleary-Souder-Barr-Burr hairdresser liability act. (LisaMassarella, Falls Church)

The Witt-Watts balanced budget amendment. (Gene Reiher, Burke)

The Thomas-Lee-Jones motion picture violence act. (JesseSalter, Washington)

The Barr-Fattah-Kennedy combined congressional term-limits andweight-limits bill. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

The Munster-Bentsen-Sanford bad sitcom preservation act.(Joseph Romm, Washington)

The English-Frist dyslexic empowerment act. (Harry Richardson,Laurel)

The Munster-Bunn obesity anti-defamation act. (Stephen Connard,Crofton)

The Bilbray-Lee family reconciliation act. (Stu Segal, Vienna)

The Barr-Burr-Seastrand ticket-gouging prevention act. (Eric F.Barr, Front Royal; Preston Williams, Alexandria; Paul Sabourin,Silver Spring; Jill Drain, Alexandria)

The Weller-English language proficiency act. (Gina Morgan,Falls Church; Geoff and Jacki Drucker, Arlington)

The Munster-Bunn-Ney bill funding medical research intoalcohol-induced hallucinations. (Jerry Pohl, Rockville)

The Abraham-Martini & Jones song-title infringement act.(Steven J. Bienstock, Rockville)

The Hilleary-Luther-Fattah-White-Bunn act to add an aerobicsroom to the White House. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

The Ensign-Bunn don't ask, don't tell bill. (Karl Means, SilverSpring)

The Nethercutt-Munster anti-flatulence act. (Mike Duffy,Washington)

The Snowe-White-Bunn-Brownback standards for decency insunbathing act. (Joel J. Roessner, Arlington; Michael Newberg, BelAir)

The Inhofe-Lee Bad Taste bill to honor Polacks, Krauts and Japs.(Scott Kirkwood, Rockville)

The Doggett-Lee-White segregation bill. (Laurel Bergold,Washington)

The Watts-Neumann anti-slang bill. (Kate Renner, Rockville)

The Mascara-Rivers Tammy Faye Bakker appreciation resolution.(Elden Carnahan, Laurel; John Alvey, Annandale)

The Kennedy-Martini bill to prohibit cheap shots in contests.(Jay D. Majors, Alexandria)

and Last:

The Barr-Smith Style Invitational reform act. (Scott Harshman,Washington, and about 150 others)

NEXT WEEK: Ask Backward III